15 Month Check Up

Lily had her 15 month check up this morning and once again passed with flying colors!

Here are her stats:

Height: 32 inches

Weight: 24.7 lbs

Head circumference: 18 3/4 inches

Lily now has 14 teeth...which she kept firmly clamped shut so the doctor couldn't look in her mouth! Actually with a little coaxing (and the toothbrushing song) Lily relented and let Dr. Lane have a peek.

You want to do what?

Um, I don't think so!

It's okay Daddy. If you're scared you can hug me.

When we met Lily she had 4 teeth all the way in and 1 on its way. That means she's gotten 9 teeth in the 5 months we've been together. Maybe that explains some of her sleepless nights!

Mommy is sleepy...but so, so happy!

Sleep continues to be sort of hit or miss....with a lot more more misses then hits lately! Try as we might we can't find any rhyme or reason to it so we'll just keep plugging away. Here's a hot tip for you...buy stock in Clinique. I'm going through under eye concealer at an alarming rate!

Mid-Autumn Moon Festival

Today is the Chinese Mid-Autumn Moon Festival. According to Wikipedia the Mid-Autumn Moon Festival is is a popular East Asian celebration of abundance and togetherness, dating back over 3,000 years to China's Zhou Dynasty. Unfortunately, I am still woefully ignorant about Chinese culture and customs. A fact I am working to rectify. To read more about the Mid-Autumn Moon Festival click here.

Tonight we celebrated the Mid-Autumn Moon Festival by going out to dinner at a local Chinese restaurant with my dad. We also shared Chinese Moon Cake and good old fashioned Moon Pies with family.

As I looked up at the beautiful full moon tonight I thought about Lily's first family and foster family and thanked them from the bottom of my heart. I hope they know how eternally grateful we are for the choices they made and the care they took of our precious daughter. I wonder if they looked at the same beautiful moon and thought about our sweet Lily. I hope somehow they know that Lily is safe and happy and so incredibly loved...not only by her Mommy and Daddy...but by her extended family and friends, too. During this Mid-Autumn Moon Festival we truly have abundance and togetherness to celebrate!

Every night Tony and I read Lily the bed time story, I Love You, Goodnight. The ending of the story is especially appropriate tonight, "We love you like the moon at night - big and round and warm and bright. We love you, good night."

Daddy Has Waited A Long Time For This!

Tony's dad, Frank, was in the Navy - as a result their family moved quite a bit. When Tony was 8 they lived in Washington state and Tony fell in love with the Seahawks. He is still a diehard Seahawks fan today.

While we were waiting to bring Lily home I bought a little Seahawk cheerleader uniform for Lily and gave it to Tony for Father's Day. He loved it and was so looking forward to seeing Lily in it. When we received Lily's referral our friend Janis did some computer magic to show us what Lily would look like in her uniform. Click here to see that post.

Tony decided he wanted to wait for the Seahawks' first televised game (on the East Coast) to put Lily in her uniform. Today was the day and I have to tell you it was worth the wait. Lily looked absolutely precious!

After today's win Tony has decided Lily will be in her uniform every Sunday whether the game is on TV or not! Here are a few more shots of Lily and her Daddy enjoying the game.

A Girl And Her Granddad

When my oldest nephew, Ryan, was just a little guy when he tried to say Granddad and Grandmom it turned into Dad Daddy and Mom Mommy. It stuck...albeit shortened to Dad Dad and Mom Mom. When Lily first met her Dad Dad she did not quite know what to make of the gentle bearded giant. Not to worry. Dad has a way with kids (with all people really) and he made a concerted effort to win Lily over. We see my dad every Sunday for breakfast but Dad tries to see Lily more frequently. When Dad is with Lily he makes it a point to feed her, play with her, sign with her, and just find any way he can to connect with her. It's worked! Lily is crazy about her Dad Dad!

Tonight, Dad joined us for dinner at our favorite restaurant, Salsa Grill. In May the restaurant suffered a devastating fire during business hours. Luckily no one was injured. Years ago when I worked at Social Security (no, it wasn't just a bad dream...I really worked there) my co-workers and I went to the Salsa Grill frequently for lunch. One day Mary Beth joined us and Jay, the owner of the restaurant, took a special interest in Mary Beth's food allergies. Over time Jay has become a friend of the family. He has catered many different events for our family (Mom's wake, Ryan and Jamie's high school graduation parties, my 40th, and more.) Tonight was the restaurant's grand re-opening and we were so happy to be there to celebrate it with them. Lily loved the spinach empanadas, corn tamales, and papusas. She said "yum yum" after every bite and did a little 'good food' dance in her high chair. I think Jay might hire her to do a commercial for him!

Here are a few pictures of Lily and her Dad Dad.

She's Walking...Yes Indeed...And She's Talking

Since the middle of July Lily has been taking steps...but to say she was walking would be a huge exaggeration. Crawling, by far, has been her preferred mode of transportation (that is if I'm not carrying her!) Well, I think she may have turned the corner. Today Lily spent much more time walking then she did crawling! Lily started off the morning by walking over to Tony and giving him a huge hug around the knees. Talk about a great way to start the day. Tony left the house with a huge smile!

Lily is still rather unsteady on her feet but today that didn't seem to deter her. Each time Lily fell she just stood right back up and kept going. Over the last two months if Lily fell too many times she would become frustrated and revert back to crawling. I guess we'll need to wait and see what tomorrow brings.

Lily is also quite the little chatter box. Honestly, Lily jabbers away constantly. It's so funny to listen to and to watch. She talks with her hands (gee, wonder where she learned that) and uses the most hysterical facial expressions!

I'm sure I wont remember all the words Lily is using now (it's growing every day) but here's at least a partial list:

Daddy

Mommy (or TJ)

More

Eat

Drink (Dink)

Please

Hi

Hello

Bye

No

Nose

Eyes

Chin (Din)

Cheeks

Socks

Shoes

Doggy

Turtle (Strange, huh? It's in one of her books and she can say it perfectly!)

Night night

Where (Woo)

Up

Pee Pee

Boo (Bird or Butterfly)

Lily is also making animal sounds. Paula, a very sweet lady from my mother-in-law's church, gave Lily a pack of Baby Einstein Touch and See Animal Cards. Lily *loves* them! She can roar like a lion, growl like a bear, bark like a dog, and moo like a cow. Lily is working on making elephant and horse sounds but mostly she just makes funny faces without a whole lot of sound for these two. Now, if someone can please help me and tell me what noises a giraffe, turtle, rabbit, and dolphin make I would greatly appreciate it! When we go through the cards Lily looks at me when we get to these animals like, "Ok Mom, make a sound...come on...I'm waiting!" I'm really at a loss here people. So, if you know please share!

On a separate note, when we came home from our walk tonight our neighbors were watering their lawn and Lily just couldn't resist! It is already getting pretty chilly out but Lily was having so much fun we just had to let her play for a little bit.

Daddy, now that I've already taken a shower...can I still have Tubby Time Spectacular?

Parrott, Table For Two

Yesterday marked our 5 month anniversary of being a family. I'm sure at some point the 16th of the month will pass and I wont stop to think about how lucky we are and how long it has been that we've been together...but for now it's all still just so unbelievable.

Last month when we were on vacation for our 4 month anniversary it really hit me. There we were on the beach in North Carolina playing in the sand and surf with our sweet Lily and just 4 short months before we were in China meeting her for the first time. It is amazing how fast time has passed!

I had some 'TJ time' yesterday and enjoyed every minute of it. I went to a wine festival with some girlfriends and had a blast. The dads stayed home with the kids and watched football and provided door-to-door taxi service for their wine tasting wives. The weather was perfect and it was so nice to have time to relax, listen to music, catch up with friends, and drink some good wine, too.

If I hurry I bet I can make it to the flower beds before Mommy notices.

I'm sure Mommy wont mind if I pull the heads off a few of these flowers.

Lily had a great time hanging out with Daddy and the bigger girls and apparently kept Tony very busy as she explored every inch of Bonnie and Rick's house!

We received an unbelievably sweet surprise when we went back to Bonnie and Rick's for dinner. Rick made Lily a little table and two chairs! When Rick said to me the table and chairs were for Lily I assumed he meant to play with while we were at their house. When I realized he had made them and they were a gift for Lily I was so incredibly touched. I can just picture Lily sitting at the table coloring, doing crafts, having tea parties, enjoying snack time, and doing lots of other fun things. Thank you so much, Rick.

Wanna come over and play on my new table?

Daddy's Little Girl

No more smooches for you, Mister!

When we were visiting Suzy, Tony's mom, over Labor Day weekend she gave Lily a cute little pink t-shirt that has "Daddy's Little Girl" printed on the front of it. This morning Tony let me sleep in a bit and he got Lily dressed for the day. Boy, did she look cute!

Can you guess who picked out my outfit this morning?

There is just something about seeing Tony and Lily together that brings me an indescribable sense of happiness. I know some people will want to kill me if I write another mushy post about my husband so all I will say is that Tony is a really wonderful Daddy and I am a very lucky lady!

Come on Daddy...let's go this way to the big girl slide.

Weeeee!!! That was so much fun!!!

The Transition For Me...Not Lily

I wrote this post several months ago (the beginning of June) and saved it as a draft. Today I was about to delete it and I thought...don't do that. This is really how I was feeling at the time (and sometimes still do). Maybe another new mother (or not so new) will read this and know they're not the only one.

I'm sure those of you who heard me complain again and again during the wait to bring Lily home will want to strangle me after reading this...but...here goes...

We have been incredibly blessed with a happy, healthy, funny, amazing daughter that I could not possibly love any more than I do. Lily is absolutely the joy of my life. So, why am I about to whine? Good question. I guess I just wanted to share that the adjustment to motherhood for me has had its rocky patches. So, what's been rocky?

Before we brought Lily home I thought that after I put Lily to bed at night I would have the evenings free to do "TJ Stuff". While it is true I do have the evenings free most days by the end of the day (and I'm talking 8:00 pm not 11:00 pm) I'm EXHAUSTED! I'm not talking a little sleepy...I'm talking wiped out! After Lily is in bed I'm lucky if I can read a page or two before I start nodding off. Yes, I do realize that I'm 41 and not 21 (or 31 for that matter)...but I'm still shocked at how tired I am.

During the day my #1 priority is spending quality time with Lily. What that translates to is the fact that my house is a mess, the flower beds are a shambles, you could write your name in the dust on every flat surface of my house...you get the idea. Spending time with Lily is absolutely what I want to be doing...but having a messy house is really tough for me.

I have often been accused of being anal. I prefer the term organized but let's not split hairs. The fact is I breathe easier when my world is at right angles. I'm exaggerating a bit but it has been hard for me to let things go. I know when Lily is older I am not going to regret the time I spent with her instead of straightening up...but the folks that tell you that the dust can wait don't mention how awful you'll feel when you pick your daughter up off the hardwood floors and she has dust bunnies attached to her knees!

I feel conflicted about how to spend the time each day when Lily naps. For example, right now I'm on the computer posting this when I could be cleaning, weeding, or preparing a decent dinner for tonight. But, I also need some down time. I guess that's why I'm sitting here on the computer and not doing those other things.

Some days I feel both over-stimulated and under-stimulated if that makes sense. The other night Tony came home from work and was in a "mono-syllabic" mood. Do you know what I mean? The conversation went something like:

How was work?
Fine.

What did you do?
Stuff.

Anyway, the next thing I knew I was crying. Crying? Why? Basically, I think it was because I had had a day of one sided conversations along the lines of "did you make a poopy in your diaper?". So, when Tony got home I was hungry for some adult conversation. Tony wasn't trying to be mean or cold he had just had a long day and was beat. My point is my response surprised me (and Tony).

I didn't realize how small my world would become. When I was working I was out and about all the time. I did spend most of my time on college campuses but I also did some community interpreting, too. This gave me the opportunity to interact with many people and visit different places every day. Our adoption agency and books I've read recommend that for the first few months we stick close to home. I understand the reasoning behind this but I didn't realize how stir crazy I would get.

I didn't think about the sameness of each day. Is sameness a word? I think it is extremely important for Lily to have a routine. I think routine and predictability will help to make Lily feel secure. However, without working outside the house now I have no idea what day of the week it is! Each day feels the same. Honestly, I'm like, "Oh, Tony's home. It must be the weekend."

I really don't want to change a thing. I've never been as happy as I am right now. It's just some of these feelings/issues have taken me by surprise. Since I've shared all the other parts of this journey I thought I would share this, too.

Since I wrote the entry above I've talked to my sisters, friends, neighbors, and my online group and found that lots of moms (and dads) had/have similar feelings. It really helped me to know that and to realize it doesn't make me a bad mother. I think that's why I decided to go ahead and post this instead of delete it...maybe someone else needs to know that, too.

I wouldn't have it any other way!

Have You Ever Wished...

...that you had a camera or a video camera built in to your eyes so you could capture a moment and keep it forever? I did last night (and countless other times since we've met Lily).

After tubby time last night Lily was being...um...what's the word I'm looking for...darling...yeah, that's it. So, Tony asked for some reinforcements when it came time to brushing Lily's teeth. Tony and I were both sitting on the side of the tub and Lily was sitting on my lap. Lily reached out both of her hands and cupped Tony's cheeks and ran her hands down the sides of his face. Then she did the same to me. She did this several times to both of us and included a smooch for us, too. As she did this the look on her face was one of pure love. It stole my heart and put a huge lump in my throat.

Okay, it may have just been a stall tactic so she didn't have to brush her teeth....but what a great stall tactic!

TJ

During my turbulent teens (that started when I was about 10) I began calling my mother by her given name, Mary Agnes, instead of Mom. Naturally, it drove her crazy...and that's all I needed to know! Over time it just sorta stuck. I continued to call my mother 'Mary Agnes' far more than I called her 'Mom' even long after my turbulent teens had ended.

Well, I'm sure Mom (aka Mary Agnes) is getting a good belly laugh at what Lily has started to call me. Yes, you guessed it...Lily has started calling me TJ! It began right after we got back from our family vacation. I can only assume Lily heard all her aunts and uncles call me TJ and thought...if it works for them why not for me?!

Obviously, this is not something I want to encourage...but it is kind of funny. Last weekend we were visiting Tony's mom when Lily called to me. Suzy looked at me and said, "Um, did she just call you TJ?" I said, "She sure did" and we both started to laugh!

The time it is hardest for me to keep a straight face is when Lily is in her highchair and I'm in the kitchen and she calls to me. It starts off, "TJ, TJ". If I don't respond Lily gets louder and more insistent. TJ becomes Tee Jay and then TEE JAY! TEE JAY! TEE JAY!!!

Now, I'll admit that I've called myself Aunt T to Lily more than once but I can assure you I've never called myself TJ. I'll just keep calling myself Mommy and I'm sure this phase will pass. Right?!? I wonder if that's what my mother thought, too!

Here are a few recent pictures of our little cutie and her crazy cousin Christina:

Daddy, I think Christina's lost it...and I don't just mean her front teeth!

Is this picture upside down or is Christina?

Christina you crack me up! Thanks for coming over to play!!

See what happens when I help with the laundry? It winds up on my head!

Lily's Life....The Broadway Musical

Have you ever done something and not realized it until someone else brought it to your attention? I don't know, maybe you crack your knuckles or use a verbal pause like 'you know' a lot when you talk and never noticed until someone mentioned it? Well, apparently I sing to Lily A LOT!

When we were on vacation Patti said to me one day, "My God, T. You have a song for everything. When Lily grows up she's going to think her life is a Broadway musical!" That got me thinking...and Patti is right! Not only do we have your basic 'We love Lily' songs we also have a song for:

• Saying good morning to the morning
• Saying good night to the night
• Changing a wet diaper
• Changing a poopy diaper
• When Lily is grouchy
• When Lily brushes her teeth
• When we wash Lily's hands
• And a whole bunch of others...but you get the picture!
  

Of course, we also have your basic Raffi, Laurie Berkner, etc. songs included in our repertoire... perhaps Lily's life really is a Broadway musical! I sure hope we win a Tony Award!

I thought I'd also mention that I can't carry a tune in a bucket. I'm guessing Lily's first full sentence will be, "Please Mom, stop singing!"

Here are a few shots from Playground the Musical opening soon!

September 5th

Eleven years ago today I was in the Delivery Room witnessing the birth of my nephew and Godson, Charlie. It was, and will always be, one of the most amazing moments of my life.

Five years ago today I was in a hospital room with my family gathered around my mother's bedside as she took her last breath. It was, and undoubtedly will always be, one of the most heartbreaking moments of my life.

Today I went to mass with my family and thanked God for all the moments...big and small, happy and sad, breath taking and heartbreaking that have made up my life.

Why Can't Every Weekend Be A Three Day Weekend?

We had such a great Labor Day weekend! The weather was beautiful and we had so much fun spending time together. Not one thing on our "Honey Do" list got done...but we did...visit with friends, go to the playground, take a super looonnnnngggg walk, go to Pennsylvania to visit Nai Nai and Aunt Sheila, and a bunch of other fun things....and really the "Honey Do" list can wait!

Here are a few pictures from our weekend. Hope you enjoy and hope you had a great long weekend, too!

Excuse Me - Part Two

Okay...so Tony was not really happy with my last post. He came to me after he read it and said that people come here not to read that kind of stuff but to read about what Lily is up to and see some cute pictures of her. Interesting he never mentioned that after I wrote mushy posts about him ;-). Tony was also concerned that someday Lily made read this blog and how would she feel about that post.

Here are a few more thoughts and then I promise I'll let it drop (for now):

It's true someday Lily might read this blog. Unfortunately, by the time she is old enough to read this I imagine she will have heard and had to answer many of the questions/comments I included in the post so it will not be new information for her. Hopefully, by that time we will have had countless discussions on how to handle answering/not answering questions and comments.

I trust you all know that I would never slap a waitress (or anyone for that matter) and I'm quite certain the guy in North Carolina had not had a lobotomy. It's just some days the questions and comments really hit a nerve...other times not so much. Obviously, on the day I wrote the original post my nerves were a little raw!

Tony and I know that we are a transracial/transcultural family. A fact we recognize and plan to celebrate. However, when we look at Lily we see our funny, sweet, smart, willful, beautiful daughter. We don't look at Lily and see our "Chinese daughter". Does that make sense? I think sometimes we both forget that we are a conspicuous family.

However, we are quickly reminded when a stranger comes up and asks us an inappropriate question or makes an inappropriate comment. These incidents take away from the 'ordinary family' time we are having. A perfect example of this is what happened at the ice cream stand in North Carolina. We had just arrived at the Outer Banks and went to one of our favorite places to wait until our rental home was ready. My sisters, nieces, nephews...all of us...were standing together talking about what a great week we would have and reminiscing about past years...then a guy walks up and says, "I just have to ask...." See what I mean? So, we go from talking, laughing and carrying on with each other to having to field really personal, intrusive questions. It really changes the tone of the time we are having and sometimes it's just not okay.

I agree with Eileen's comment from my previous post that the term biological when referring to Lily's Birth Mother is too clinical. I am new to using "Adoption Language" and I am still feeling my way. Honestly, I tend to use First Mother more than anything. Lily was not immediately placed in foster care after she was born. For a time she was cared for by her first family and then she was placed with her foster family. It may seem awkward to say First Mother but it seems more accurate than Birth Mother. So, does that make Lily's Foster Mother her Second Mother and me her Third Mother? Yes, it does. I am. That's okay because more importantly I am her Forever Mother and we are each other's Forever Family.

To keep Tony happy I thought I better add a picture to this post ;-). We both just love how Lily hooks her toes on the bottom of her highchair tray....and what about that bed head? Couldn't you just eat her up? We do!