This year tax season has been hard...really, Really, REALLY, HARD. Tony has been working a TON. It's crazy. Most days he leaves the house before Lily wakes up and comes home after she has gone to bed.
I have to admit that tax season has never been my favorite time of the year, but this year it's different. Worse. Harder. Lily and Tony miss each other so much. It's hard to see.
Of course, Tony and I also miss each other. We miss time alone together, time together as a family, but we know there is an end in sight. We have explained that to Lily, but she doesn't quite understand that after April 15th there will be an end to all this craziness!
Lily talks about Tony all the time. She is constantly saying things like, "Next time I want Daddy to come to (fill in the blank) with us." "I have to remember to tell Daddy..." "I want to save this to show Daddy." You get the idea. It's sweet, but at the same time it breaks my heart.
Before meals the 3 of us hold hands and say a blessing. Since tax season began Tony is rarely home for dinner. Now Lily holds my one hand and holds her other empty little hand across the table to where Tony usually sits. How cute is she?
I know I posted this before but, Lily recently told her preschool teacher that Tony lives in Hunt Valley, MD, and comes home on Sunday. That was the first I had heard Lily say that and thought it was sad/interesting that that was what she was thinking. Of course, the poor teacher didn't know what was going on and discreetly asked me if Tony and I were separated. I told her, "Yes...by tax season!"
Tony is soooo run down and has caught a nasty cold. The upside of that is he has been slower getting out the door the last few mornings and Lily has actually been awake to see him go. The other day as Tony was leaving the house Lily called to him, "Don't forget to come home Daddy!" I'm sure Tony drove to work with a lump in his throat...I know I had one in mine.
Last Sunday Tony was able to spend some time with us at the playground. We all had such a fun time just being together! I can't wait until tax season is over and we can make up for some lost time!!
Okay, okay, this birthday wish is a little late. Well, a lot late...but sincere nonetheless!
Last Thursday was Suzy's birthday. Lily and I had planned to go up to visit Suzy on Friday and go out to lunch with her, Aunt Sheila and Aunt Peggy. However, when Suzy told me that the place they had chosen for lunch would mean an additional 45 minute drive...on top of the 90 minute drive to her house...I decided that wasn't such a great idea. Somehow driving more than 2 hours to stay less than 2 hours to drive more than 2 hours home...with an almost 3 year old...doesn't sound like a great way to spend the day!
It turns out that we were able to get together with Suzy and Sheila on Saturday night and Tony was able to join us, too!
Here's a picture of 3 generations of Parrotts. As you can see Lily did not "inherit" the Parrott inability to smile when there is a camera in front of them ;-)
I teased Tony, Suzy, and Sheila that if they didn't start giving me "real smiles" for pictures I was going to buy them pitchforks like the guy in the American Gothic photo!
Christina invited Lily and I to come to her school on Wednesday for lunch. We went last year and had a blast...and we were looking forward to doing it again.
One problem. The "open door" policy at Beanie's school no longer includes toddlers in the cafeteria. Who knew? Well, for starters not the office staff. Patti, Lily, and I went into the office, signed in, told them our destination, got our visitor's badges and off we headed to the cafeteria.
It was so sweet to see Christina and Lily's excitement when they first saw each other. That excitement didn't last long. As soon as we walked into the cafeteria the Cafeteria Police came running over. They explained that because of several students with severe nut allergies small children are no longer allowed in the cafeteria. I'm not sure I get the connection. My guess is that they're afraid that a toddler might inadvertently carry a nut into the nut free zone. Whatever the reason, I'm all for keeping kids safe...even if it means disappointing my daughter and niece.
The Cafeteria Police let us stay long enough for Christina to give Lily an absolutely beautiful painting and for Lily to give Christina a chocolate chip cookie.
These pictures don't do Christina's BEAUTIFUL painting justice! Christina even went online to figure out the Chinese characters for "Lily" and included them on the top of the painting. I can't wait to hang it in Lily's room!
You're the best, Beanie! We'll schedule a weekend lunch date...soon!
Yesterday, Lily and I went to a birthday party for one of Lily's friends, Sydney. While we were at the party this is the conversation that Lily initiated:
"Mommy, when I was a teeny tiny baby in China my Birth Mudder lost me. I don't know why her couldn't find me. My Birth Father couldn't find me, too. Then, you and Daddy came to China and found me. Now, we're always going to be a family. Right?"
"You're right! We'll be a family forever!"
After that little exchange Lily went right back to happily playing...and I fought back tears. I HAVE to stop that. I never want Lily to feel like she can't talk to me about anything and everything.
We have never told Lily that her Birth Parents "lost her". We have only ever shared with Lily very age appropriate information about how we became a family through adoption.
From time to time we read children's books we have about adoption. Lily also absolutely LOVES to talk about our trip to China and her life in China. She asks us questions like, "Could I walk when I was in China?", "Did I have teeth when I was in China?", "What did I eat when I was in China?"
However, this is only the second time that Lily has asked me a direct question about her adoption/Birth Mother. Click here to read about the first question Lily asked me about her Birth Mother. I think what triggered yesterday's question is Lily's friend, Sydney, the birthday girl.
Sydney is a sweet girl we met about a year ago at an area playground. We then found out she lives just a few blocks away from us. Sydney also happens to be second generation Chinese American.
Lily finds it really confusing that Sydney wasn't born in China. She has asked me (and Sydney...and her mom) several times where Sydney was born. The fact that Sydney was born in America does not seem to compute in Lily's beautiful little brain.
Then, there's also the fact that virtually every Chinese child Lily knows, other than Sydney, is adopted. Their families look like ours. Sydney's doesn't.
As hard as it is for me to believe Lily is already asking these types of questions, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Lily is bright...VERY bright, perceptive, inquisitive and I could go on and on. I know, I know, every mother thinks their child is special...and every mother is right!
It's time for another quick installment of Lily-isms. If I don't write these things down I will forget them, and since this blog is as close to a "baby book" as Lily is ever going to have...here we go:
The other day Lily and I were going out for our daily walk. I told Lily that she had to wear a hat because it had gotten really cold outside. She replied, "I'm not the least bit concerned about that." I wanted to make sure I heard her correctly so I said, "Excuse me." Sure enough, she said, "It's cold outside, but I'm not the least bit concerned about that."
The other day Lily was talking to Ms. Doreen, her preschool teacher, and she said, "My daddy lives in Hunt Valley, MD and comes home on Sunday."
Tony has been working A LOT. Many days he leaves before Lily wakes up and comes home after she's in bed. I didn't realize Lily knew where Tony's office is located...much less thought he lived there!
Okay, this next one is indelicate...and embarrassing...and I can't believe I'm going to type this...but it is sooooo funny...even if it is at my own expense!
I'm warning you...you might want to stop reading now.
Alrighty then...if you're still reading this you only have yourself to blame.
This morning I was getting ready to get in the shower and Lily came in the bathroom.
Here's your last chance to stop reading.
While I was bent down adjusting the water temperature Lily said, "You know, Mommy, your chests look like pigtails."
OUCH! Does anyone have the name of a good plastic surgeon????
Let's end on a more positive note. Shall we?
Here's a picture of our little sweetie doing a little grocery shopping with a little grocery cart:
Over the last month countless people have asked me and Tony if we have seen the Microsoft commercial with the little girl who looks "exactly like Lily". Until the other night we hadn't.
Kylie may not look "exactly" like Lily, but WOW are they similar. They share the same sweet chubby cheeks, smooch-able lips, beautiful smile, and precious personality. I think we have an idea of what our sweet Lily will look like in 2 years.
Aunt Baba bought Lily the shamrock and ladybug pajamas before Lily came home from China. Mary Beth bought them in 2 sizes, 18 months and 3 T. Click here to see Lily in her 18 month Chirish pj's.
I distinctly remember thinking when Mary Beth gave us the pajamas that the 3 T's looked HUGE. Now, they fit our little pumpkin perfectly. Time really is flying!
Hope you had a fun St. Patrick's Day. We sure did!
Over the last several weeks Lily has learned to wink (sort of) and snap (really). She couldn't be more proud of herself!
I can't remember the last time Tony or I winked or snapped. So, I really have no idea why Lily became interested (read obsessed) with learning to do these two things.
Now, Lily wants to learn how to tie her shoes. Yikes! No matter how Tony and I try, Lily just refuses to accept that it will be a few more years before she can tie her own shoes. If I don't want to spend half the day waiting for Lily to give up and let me "help her" tie her shoes I think I better go out and buy some sneakers with velcro instead of laces!
I wrote this post quite a while ago and then couldn't bring myself to push the "publish" button. This blog is supposed to be about our life with Lily. This post isn't. It is a post about a sadness and deep regret that I have carried in my heart for more than 6 years and always will.
My hope was by writing this down it would help me to move past it. I haven't.
This post is personal. Maybe too personal.
Today would have been my mom's 72nd birthday. Since this post is about me and Mom I thought I would go ahead and post it now. Maybe it will prevent someone else from making the same mistake we did.
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Mom and I had a complicated relationship. We loved each other deeply and we drove each other crazy. Sadly, we often did not bring out the best in each other.
Mom and I had heated arguments, but as a rule we didn't stay angry with each other for long. It's just not what we did.
Like every good rule there are always exceptions. Unfortunately, for me and Mom, the time we chose to stay angry with each other happened just before she died.
The agrument we had was ugly. Really ugly.
We didn't speak after that.
I have always called my parents every night at 9:00. I didn't.
We went on family vacation. Normally, Mom and I would have a nightly Scrabble competition. We didn't.
The Thursday after we returned home from vacation Mom had a heart attack. We still hadn't spoken.
Mom lived for two weeks after she had that heart attack. She was intubated the entire time and couldn't speak.
I tried to speak for both of us. I couldn't.
Before you let the sun set on your anger take a minute to think about the possibility that you may not have another opportunity to make things right. Mom and I didn't.
Two years ago today we saw our sweet Lily's face for the very first time. Her beautiful face took our breath away. It still does!
Every day with Lily is such a gift. Lily wakes up in the morning with a smile on her face and spends the rest of the day putting a smile on the face of everyone she comes in contact with...especially her mommy and daddy!
Trust me, Tony and I know just how blessed we are!
We had such a nice weekend. The weather was beautiful and we actually got to spend some family time together.
Yesterday, Lily and I got together with Suzy, Sheila, Peggy (a longtime family friend), Robin (Suzy and Sheila's pastor), and Margaret (his wife) to celebrate Peggy and Margaret's birthdays. Lily was pretty quiet during lunch but definitely hit her stride when we went back to Aunt Sheila's for cake and ice cream.
Once Lily warmed up there was no stopping her. I think it was a combination of having a captive audience and the curtains hanging on Aunt Sheila's sliding glass doors that Lily decided were her "stage curtains" and watch out world! Lily was singing, dancing, and bossing all of us around. It was such a hoot. I literally had to carry Lily off the "stage"! Somehow I managed to leave the house yesterday without a camera so I don't have any pictures of Lily's show. You will just have to trust me that our sweet Lily was ON!
Today we didn't do anything special just spent time together and that was wonderful!Tony's been working a TON now that it's tax season. Many days Tony is gone before Lily wakes up and is home after she's gone to bed. They miss each other so much. It was great to be have some family time.
We started the day going to breakfast with Dad, Patti, and Sadie and then headed to the playground. Lily got a kick out of showing Daddy all the things she can do now. It really is amazing the difference a few months make! After the playground we headed home for lunch and then spent the entire afternoon playing outside. The weather was PERFECT and so was our day!
Can these pictures really have been taken 6 days apart?!?
Two years ago today Sandy, our agency's China Adoption Coordinator, called us to share the wonderful news that we would be receiving Lily's referral in just a few days. I will never forget answering my cell phone and hearing the words, "Congratulations Mommy!". When Sandy called with the wonderful news Tony and I were at Build A Bear making a bear to send to Lily. Last year Lily and I went back to Build A Bear to celebrate our referral-versary and this year we did the same thing.
Lily loved every second of our time at Build A Bear. If she had her way we would still be there! Lily absolutely loved the little air blowing bathtub thing. Her little lamb (with 1,000 different names) spent a lot of time in that tub. Lily also spent a great deal of time picking out the right outfit for her little lamb. Then when we got home Lily told me, "Lambie doesn't like clothes. She wants to be naked." I tell you that little cutie cracks me up!
Remembering back to that amazing day two years ago I distinctly remember such a feeling of relief washing over me. Yes, relief. The entire 17 months we waited for Lily's referral I worried that somehow our dossier had gotten lost, misplaced, misfiled...whatever. I had such a nagging fear that when it was finally our turn to get "the call" we wouldn't.
I'm not normally a 'glass is half empty' kind of person but I really was riddled with all kind of negative what-if's during the wait to bring Lily home. To get that wonderful call put to rest all my fears (well, almost all) and I finally felt like I could exhale. It was really happenning...Tony and I were parents!!
As thrilled as Tony and I were back then we had no way of knowing how much joy and love Lily would bring into our lives. Our life as a family of 3 is better than anything we could have possibly imagined. Tony and I are constantly amazed and thankful for how blessed we are.
Two years ago today the China Center for Adoption Affairs sent out referrals for families with Log In Dates (LIDs) from October 14, 2005 to October 24, 2005. With an LID of October 18, 2005, that meant we were IN!! After 17 months of waiting we were about to see our sweet Lily's face for the very first time.
Our agency had told us that they normally did not receive referrals until after the larger agencies received theirs. We were warned that we may not get our referral call until several days after the referrals were sent from China. That did not stop me from sitting by the phone all day waiting for the phone to ring...and then being completely devastated when it didn't!!
If only there was some way I could have known back then there was nothing to worry about. God answered our prayers perfectly!
Here's our answered prayer doing a little dance/puppet show this weekend with Daddy's shoes on her feet and her shoes on her hands!
One of my favorite times of every day is when Lily first wakes up. I love it when she is still warm and half drunk with sleep. She is such a little snuggle bug and I love the opportunity to cuddle up before the activities of the day take over.
Saturday morning when Lily woke up she crawled into my lap and burrowed her face into the space between my shoulder and cheek and said, "Mmmm...you smell like Momma." I can't begin to tell you how that melted my heart.
Speaking of melting my heart, look at our little sweetie enjoying yesterday's snow.
