Gone To The Dogs

Saturday evening Patti and I drove to Dewey Beach, Delaware for dinner. No, we don't normally drive to Dewey Beach for dinner. However, this weekend we had a really good excuse...we were invited to join in part of the festivities for Clare's Bachelorette Party Weekend!

Um, let's just say it's a good thing I drove! ;-b

It was well worth the road trip. The food was delicious, the company was wonderful, and Clare was kind enough to sit with us at the "grown-ups" table.











Thankfully, Patti and I got back on the road before things got too rowdy ;-). But, unfortunately, we didn't leave the restaurant before the young stud with the beautiful brown eyes strolled in like he owned the place. To say I was shocked by his arrival would be an understatement!

Let's just say the attraction between Clare and this handsome, young fellow was quite undeniable!





Clare, thanks so much for including me and Aunt Patti! We had a blast!!

Only 39 more days until the big day!! Yippee Yahoo!!!!!!!

Dear Working Mom

Dear Working Mom,

I'm writing you this letter because each time this topic has come up (which it has quite a bit lately) I find myself oddly tongue-tied.

I understand that you would "never want to stay home" and how if you did you would be "BORED to death" and would "completely lose yourself". If that's how you feel, then I think you are definitely making the right choice for your family. Because as we both know, "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!"

I do have to tell you though that the "I have too much ambition to be a stay at home mom" comment recently crossed the line and stung quite a bit.

I do have ambitions. Would you like to know what they are? I want to volunteer at Lily's school and be available to spend the afternoons and the summers with her. Admittedly these goals are not great résumé builders, but I'm okay with that.

Being Lily's mom is the best "job" I've ever had. It just feels right - better than right. Really. It's my dream job...I don't want to look for another.

I know the choices we've made as a family may not work for you and your family. That doesn't make either one of us right or wrong. We're both just doing what we think is best for our families. Right?

I've gotta be honest - I have NO idea how you do what you do. Seriously. I have one child and don't work and somehow I still run out of milk, return library books late, and fall behind on laundry. I can't imagine how crazy my life would be...and how messy my house would be...if I worked 40 hours a week!! Again, I have no idea how you do it all!

Speaking of working, please don't presume that Tony and I fight because "I don't work". We don't. Don't get me wrong - Tony and I argue...you can bet on that...it just has nothing to do with me not working!!!

Tony and I had many long talks before we became parents and we agreed that, for us, me staying home was the right choice. We've had the same conversation several times since we've become a family of 3 and still feel me being home is the right choice for our family. Yes, it has meant we've had to make some sacrifices - but we're okay with that.

By the way, I do know that Lily is in school now. A fact I am actually painfully aware of! Oddly enough, Lily being in school doesn't make me want to run out and find a job. I'm sure someday I'll return to the paid workforce - just not anytime soon.

Speaking of me being at home, as you know I'm happy to help you out with your kids from time to time. I'm a big believer in that whole "it takes a village" thing. That being said, providing free child care for your children never factored into my decision to stay home...so, please don't take advantage of a good thing!

I'm sorry that last statement came out so snarky. It's just something that has been eating at me a bit.

Speaking of things that have been eating at me, can we make a deal? As long as I don't call and interrupt you at work to tell you what I'm watching on Oprah or ask you to borrow money to cover our bills can we stop having this whole stay at home mom vs. working mom conversation? Please. I don't think either of us benefit from it. Besides, I know there are so many more interesting things we can find to talk about.

Thanks,

Me

Lil

Yesterday when I dropped Lily off at school Lily's teacher, Miss S, asked if I had a minute because she wanted to talk to me.

Lily's teacher began by telling me that Lily had been very polite and respectful...but...But...BUT...Lily let it be known...in no uncertain terms...that Lil is the special name that only her Aunt Baba calls her.

Lily did tell Miss S that since she is the teacher if she *really* wanted to call her Lil she could even though it *really* is only Aunt Baba's special name for her.

Miss S assured Lily that she would do her very best to try and call her Lily and not Lil, but warned Lily that sometimes she might slip. Lily told Miss S that would be alright and also let Miss S know that she liked it when Miss S sometimes called her 'Honey Bunch' and maybe she could call her that instead of Lil.

Apparently, Miss S got quite a kick out of her and Lily's little conversation.

Miss S also told me that she was quite impressed that Lily was able to politely share with her that she preferred to be called Lily instead of Lil. She said that's not something a lot of 5 year olds are comfortable doing.

I'm not gonna lie...I was pretty impressed too. You see, our little Lily tends to be the consumate people pleaser. I'm happy to know that Lily can voice her opinions/thoughts with other people when she feels strongly enough about something.

Of course, that whole voicing her opinions/thoughts thing is all fine and good until Lily uses it against her poor, sweet mother!

Do you want to know what that little turkey said to me this morning??? Lily said, "Mommy, when you drop me off at school you don't have to stay with me until the bell rings. You can just walk me in and then leave. School is really a place for children not mommies."

Ouch!

While it is true that some of the kindergarten parents simply walk their kids in and then leave, I am by no means the only parent that has been staying until the bell rings. But, today I didn't. I walked Lily in, gave her a kiss, and then left.

I'm not going to lie, I really, Really, REALLY wanted to stay. But, I think our little 'Lil' is growing up and wants to stretch her wings a bit. I'm going to do my best not to stand in the way of that!



Okay, admittedly these pictures I took last weekend of Lily and Katie checking out a praying mantis are completely unrelated...but I can't have a post without a photo!!

I Bet You Thought I Forgot

Sorry, you're just not that lucky.

Here's one more completely disjointed post about Lily's first few days of kindergarten. Then I promise I'll stop.

I think.

I hope.

You hope!

So, anyway, here goes...

Several days before kindergarten started Lily asked me if the next time we were at Target we could buy a binky (pacifier) for her because she had *ALWAYS* wanted one.

Well, that was news to me. In fact, when Lily was a baby we tried to get her to use a pacifier because the doctor said sucking on her finger was bad for her teeth.

Lily wanted no parts of a pacifier. She just loved her little index finger!!



My first instinct was to say, "No, you're a big girl". But then I thought...why not?

Tony was with us when we went to Target and I think he thought I had completely lost my mind. Seriously.

It's just that I had noticed some changes in Lily's behavior in the days leading up to her first day of kindergarten.

Lily never came out and told me she was scared or nervous. However, Lily did ask me to carry her A LOT and kiss a lot more boo boos...most of which I believe were imaginary.

Lily also asked to watch our China Video and to look through her baby album from China several times. All at the same time I was carrying her everywhere and kissing imaginary boo boos. Not at all typical behavior for Lily.

I think on some level Lily just needed reassurance that she was still a baby...my baby.

So, we did buy the binky. Two in fact...they were packaged together. Blue and green. Lily's favorite colors.

Lily sucked on each one for a sum total of maybe 15 minutes over a two day period. She hasn't touched them since.

You know what? That's okay. Somehow I think it brought Lily peace of mind. That was well worth the $3.00.

Now, onto the first day of school...

On Wednesday when Tony and I picked Lily up from school one of the first things she said to us was, "I have one of *those* boys in my class."

When I asked Lily what she meant by that Lily said in the most exasperated tone, "You know, the kind of boy that just doesn't listen!"

Sometimes Lily is such an old soul. I mean when she's not sucking on a pacifier, of course!

On Thursday when I picked Lily up from school she said, "Now Mommy, I know we can't go out to lunch everyday, but I really think we should go to Panera today. I know everyone will want to see me in my uniform."

I would love to say that we didn't go...or that we went and noone noticed...but the truth is we went and Lily's adoring fans came from behind the counter to see her in her school uniform!

No, I'm not lying! At one point there were 2 managers, 3 employees, and a few customers standing around Lily telling her how cute she looked in her uniform and asking her how school was going.

Lily has a little fan club just about everywhere we go. The library, the grocery store, the art museum, the post office, the bank...it's so sweet.

The good news is Lily really doesn't think it's anything special. She just thinks everyone had their own little welcoming committee everywhere they go!

On Friday we came home for lunch. Unheard of...I know.

Turns out it's a good thing we did. Our little sweetie was plum tuckered out.

While we were eating lunch Lily asked me if she could have another napkin. My hands were full so I asked Lily if she could grab one from in the cabinet.

I heard Lily wrestling a little bit in the cabinet and then a minute later she came over put her head down in my lap and sobbed, "I just want you to get me a napkin."

Um...what???

You could've knocked me over with a feather!

You see, Lily doesn't have meltdowns. EVER. And here she was crying her little heart out over a napkin.

I scooped her up, snuggled her on my lap, and then we went upstairs to "read a book".

Lily fell asleep a few pages into the book and slept for two hours. The first nap she's taken in almost 2 years!

What can I say? This half day kindergarten thing is an adjustment for both of us!!

On a completely separate note, Lily started dance class again this week. She's grown just a bit since she started hasn't she???



Thanks for letting me get all these little memories down "on paper". My memory just isn't what it once was!

18 Years Ago Today...

18 years ago today this beautiful baby joined our family...



Now, 18 years later, Maggie is celebrating her first birthday away from home.



Happy 18th birthday, sweet girl. We love you, miss you, and can't wait to see you!!!

I Pledga Balegence

After making you suffer through yesterday's post...and the post I still want to write about Lily's first few days of kindergarten...I thought you might enjoy a big ol heaping dose of kindergarten cuteness...



I'm shocked how much of The Pledge Lily can recite after only 5 days in school! Let's just say Lily remembers quite a bit more of The Pledge than her father does :-)

And did you notice how hyper Lily is? Um...silly question...how could you miss it????

Well, this is pretty much how hyper Lily has been every day after school! Oh! My!! Word!!!

Oh...and one last thing...Lily asked me for the flag prop and to get the video camera before telling me the story! She's such a little ham!!

Sleeping Beauty

I'm going to go ahead and apologize for this post right up front. I know, I know...I should probably do that with all my post...but I think this post will be even more disjointed than most!

I use this blog as a sort of "baby book" for Lily. I guess now that she's a big kindergartner I can't really call it a "baby book", but you know what I mean.

There are so many things from Lily's first week of school that I don't want to forget so I'm going to jot them down here in no particular order. Bear with me.

I imagine I have shared this before, but our little Lily is quite the sleeping beauty. Seriously. Girlfriend requires A LOT of sleep. On average, Lily sleeps 13 hours a night.

Before this whole pesky school thing started sleep was not an issue. I just let Sleeping Beauty sleep until she naturally woke up.

The only time we ever actually woke Lily up (with the exception of leaving for vacation) is on Sunday mornings to meet Dad Dad for breakfast. On Sundays we would wait until the last possible second to wake Lily up, get her dressed, then into the bathroom and out the door.

Well, when you have to be to school by 8:20...and normally you're still asleep at 8:20...that can be a bit of a problem!!!

I have to confess, I don't like having to wake Lily up. I don't know...there's just something about waking a sleeping "baby" that seems so wrong. And with the exception of the first day of school Lily has been sound asleep when I go to wake her up in the morning.

Oh, and I'm not the only one that doesn't like having to wake Lily up. Let's just say Sleeping Beauty could do without it too!



When we got Lily's school supply list I read it aloud to her. The first thing on the list was a backpack. Lily very quickly chimed in, "We don't need to buy a backpack. I have Thomas!"

Oh, and yes...I realize there was no segue from Sleeping Beauty to Thomas. I warned you this was going to be a disjointed post!

Aunt Sheila gave Lily the Thomas backpack for her third birthday. Since then, Lily has used that backpack a million times. It has toted an assortment of treasures, stuffed animals, books, snacks, etc. I love how much Lily loves her Thomas backpack.



On Lily's first day of school the weather was MISERABLE! Because of the bad weather all of the children (grades K-8) and their families met in the gym before school started.

As you can imagine it was crowded and loud. Oh, and did I mention crowded and loud? This is not the best environment for Lily (or her mother). Lily was sweating like crazy, but other than that there was no signs of nervousness.

When it was time for Lily's class to leave the gym she gave Tony and I a hug, lined up, signed I LOVE YOU, waved and away she went. I'm not going to lie to you, I desperately wanted to follow her down the hall and into her classroom...but I didn't.

As each student left the gym the Headmaster gave them a high five. It was a very sweet moment. It was so obvious that all the students love him and that he loves them.

He really is a lovely man...job title notwithstanding...and was a big factor in Tony and I deciding to send Lily to school here.

Unfortunately, I was at the wrong angle to capture Lily's high five. However, I do want to "capture the memory" here. It was so fun to see how excited the little kids were to be doing what the big kids had done!



I have several more memories I want to remember, but this post has taken on a life of its own. So, I'll just share one more memory and then save the rest for another day. Don't worry. I promise this whole kindergarten retrospective will be over soon!

Last Tuesday night as I was drowning myself in red wine...oops...I mean preparing for Lily's first day of school I received a text message from my nephew, James, inviting me out to breakfast Wednesday morning.

Once I climbed out of the bottle ;^) I told James that Wednesday would be Lily's first day of kindergarten and I didn't think I would be fit company for a cat. I did say, however, that if he didn't mind dining with a weeping, wailing, shell of a woman I would love the distraction and Uncle Tony would be there so he wouldn't have to deal with me all alone.

You know what James said???

He said he *knew* Wednesday was Lily's first day and that's why he had invited me. Um...how sweet is he???

Seriously?

Please tell me how many almost 24 year old men you know that would invite their emotionally distraught, hungover aunt out to breakfast just to give her something to do while her one and only child was at their first day of school?

I can tell you how many...ONE! Lily's fishing buddy...and my godson...James.



I really am an incredibly lucky woman.

Space And Frogs

Today was Lily's second day of kindergarten. Only 165 more school days to go until summer!!!

Wait. I thought that would make me feel better. It didn't. Can we just forget I mentioned it?!?

The good news is that Lily had another wonderful day!

Her Mama...not so much.

Today was much harder for me than yesterday. Yesterday I think I was kinda running on pure adrenaline. Today...my tank was empty.

Remember that "good cry" I was talking about yesterday? Well, it happened this morning...with a vengeance!

I was fine (relatively speaking) when I dropped Lily off. The problems started when I got back in the car. I turned on the radio and it was Joe Cocker singing "You Are So Beautiful."

Well, stick a fork in me. I was done.

I cried and cried and then cried some more. You know, one of those really ugly soul cleansing cries. Thank goodness I have a big stash of tissues in the car!!

Back when we had a video created from our trip to China "You Are So Beautiful" was one of the songs we selected to accompany the soundtrack of how we became a family. Well, you see, it's that song that is playing as we walk into the conference room and see our beautiful Lily for the first time.



I must say I think it was rather serendipitous that that was the song that was playing on the radio when I got back in the car.

Today I was "that mom" I was afraid I would be yesterday. Thankfully, I was able to do my sobbing, gasping, and snivelling alone in the privacy of my own car.

I'm not sure, but I think since my little 'episode' I'm actually breathing a little better!

Okay, enough about my mental breakdown!!

Here are a few tidbits I want to share before I go to sleep. What can I say? I'm completely drained!

Yesterday, Lily did not want to wear her shoes to school. Not because she didn't like them, but because she didn't want to get the bottoms of them dirty!

Oh, if I didn't already mention the weather yesterday and today was absolutely disgusting. Foggy, rainy, dreary, just overall disgusting. Come to think of it, the weather has matched my mood rather well.



Look out the windows of Lily's "school bus". Yuck!!

Okay, after all that dark, moody stuff I'll end this post on a funny note.

When I picked Lily up from school today I asked her how her second day went. She told me it went great, but she didn't learn a thing!

Lily said, "Mommy, I want to learn about things like space and frogs. Today we "learned" how to write the letter 'X'. BORE - RING!!

Lily told me rather emphatically that she knows how to write all her letters and she wants to learn about fun things like space and frogs! Not boring things like how to write an 'X'."

Oh, how I wish you could've heard the exasperation in her voice!

Trying to lighten the mood I suggested to Lily that maybe she could tell her teacher that she wanted to learn about space and frogs...or maybe frogs in space.

In a *very* serious tone Lily told me that she knew I was "trying" to be funny, but really...writing letters is "BORE - RING!!" and she wants to learn "fun stuff."

The good news is that Lily "can't wait" to go back to school tomorrow.

I have so many other little things I want to share about Lily's 'back-to-school' adventures, but that soul cleansing cry really took it out of me.

Hopefully, tomorrow I can write the post I really want to write about all the other little things I never want to forget.

Can I Go Back Tomorrow?

Today was Lily's first day of Kindergarten!



She absolutely LOVED it!!

In fact, during dinner tonight Lily asked us if she could back tomorrow. I'll take that as a good sign!



Lily has been counting down the number of sleeps until kindergarten started for weeks now. I am so happy the day lived up to her expectations!



Last night Lily asked if we could have dinner at "The Best Restaurant Ever" to celebrate her starting kindergarten.

No, she didn't mean Panera...she meant her very own little table for two (or three) in our very own basement. It was lovely...even if the service was a littly shotty!

This morning when Lily woke up one of the first things she asked me is if she could have sour cream pancakes for breakfast before her first day of school.

I tell you, Girlfriend really milked this first day of school thing!

I made sour cream pancakes the other day and Lily loved them. This morning when Lily requested the pancakes she asked me to make sure I used "the exact same ingredients" I used the other day. Only 5 years old and she already doesn't trust my culinary skills. Smart girl...obviously ready for kindergarten!!

A cooked breakfast was actually a nice way to start our day. Don't worry. I have no delusions of making a cooked breakfast every morning!! I imagine by Friday Lily will be gnawing on a cold bagel in the backseat of the car while I rush to get her to school on time!!

But, for today, I could pretend I had my act together.

Just in case I didn't, Tony took today off so he could see Lily off to school and to keep an eye on his crazy wife!



I'm proud to say I did a darn good job of keeping it together. That doesn't mean there wasn't a tear or two. There was. But, that was it...a tear or two.

My mom used to often say she "needed a good cry". I never quite understood what she meant. I do now.

In fact, I feel like I want to cry myself to sleep. I wonder if that would help with this tight feeling I have in my throat...and my seeming complete inability to breathe. Seriously.

For reasons unknown I seem to be holding my breath without even realizing it. Then, suddenly, I find myself sort of gasping for breath. I'm certain it will pass in a few days. Once I somehow get my brain around the fact that this sweet little baby...



is now this sweet big girl...



I have so much more to to say about today, but right now I need to drink some red wine, get some sleep, and try to remember how to breathe! Not necessarily in that order!

But first, can someone also please tell me how these sweet little babies turned 18 today????



Life is going by so fast!!

Happy birthday Adam, Ben, and Sam!! We love you so much and can't wait to see you this weekend!

Salutations

Several months ago Lily and I created a rather extensive summer "Bucket List".

Along with entries like "Go to the zoo", "Go bowling" and "Go fishing" was an entry called "Have pajama days". You know, the kinda day when you never get out of your pj's.

On Thursday the power went out right after we woke up. When I called the power company they said they didn't expect that the power would be on again until some time Friday morning.

Well, Lily and I took a vote and decided it would be a perfect day for a Pajama Day. Don't you just love democracy in action?!?

The first thing Lily wanted to do on our Pajama Day was bake chocolate chip cookies. One problem...no power!

At first Lily was a little crestfallen, but then you could see her whole face light up. A pretty neat trick considering we had no power!

In a very excited voice Lily told me she knew exactly what she wanted to do and I was to stay "right there". Lily quickly ran upstairs and came back down with a huge smile on her face and a copy of Charlotte's Web in her hands.

Lily has been wanting to read this book for quite some time. She had taken the book down off the bookshelf countless times and looked at the illustrations. I, on the other hand, have been rather reluctant. I don't know what the "right" age is to read Charlotte's Web, but 5 just seems kind of young.

What can I say? Lily was so excited...I acquiesced. I'm a tough nut like that.

I'm so glad I did. We had the most wonderful day!

We started out planning to read the first four chapters. Well, you know what happens to even the best laid plans. Right?

Over the course of our Pajama Day we read the entire book. Lily absolutely LOVED every single second of it and I absolutely LOVED sharing the book with Lily.

We had so many great discussions and shared a whole range of different emotions. I think this Pajama Day will go down as one of my favorite Mommy and Lily Days...EVER...of which I have so many!!

There have been numerous times since becoming a mother that I wished I had a camera crew following me around capturing all of life's little moments. Thursday was definitely one of those days!

When Lily and I got to the chapter where Charlotte is dying Lily was very sad...and more than a little bit angry.

Lily Could. Not. Believe. that Wilbur would leave Charlotte to die alone at the county fair. Especially after Charlotte had done so much for Wilbur. My girl was seriously, seriously PUT OUT!!

The discussions we had about this topic were tender and sweet and sad and beautiful.

Have I mentioned I think this day will go down as one of my favorite Mommy Moments?

When we reached "Chapter 22 - A Warm Wind" describing when Charlotte's eggs have hatched and her children are flying off Lily was *so* incredibly sad. When I read:

"Are all of you going?" asked Wilbur. "You can't all go. I would be left alone, with no friends. Your mother wouldn't want that to happen, I'm sure."

Lily's sweet eyes were brimming with tears...and so were her mother's.

A few paragraphs later when I read:

"Then he walked drearily to the the doorway, where Charlotte's web used to be. He was standing there, thinking of her, when he heard a small voice.

"Salutations!" it said. "I'm up here."

Well, you should've seen Lily!! She leapt off the couch and start doing this little dance and cheering!

Lily was dancing around saying:

"Mama, I'm so, So, SO happy!"

"I *really* didn't want Wilbur to be all by himself!"

"Oh Mama...you know Fern is so busy with that ol' Henry Fussy now. Wilbur really needs a friend."

"Mama, if I was one of Charlotte's children I would've stayed and been Wilbur's friend. I would've. Really!"

It was truly one of the sweetest moments I've ever witnessed!! In fact, I have tears in my eyes just thinking about it!!!

The funny thing is, all of this happened before I had the chance to read to Lily that not 1, but 3 of Charlotte's children stayed behind with Wilbur.

Lily was beyond thrilled. I tell you, our little girl truly has the sweetest little heart!!

If Mom Were Here...

If Mom were here...Dad wouldn't have to drink his morning coffee at the cemetery.

If Mom were here...Lily would really know who I was talking about when I mention Mom Mom.

If Mom were here...she would happily invite Ed and Dave over for a liver and onion dinner.

If Mom were here...she and I would still be driving each other crazy!

If Mom were here...Patti would still be her favorite.

If Mom were here...she would be asking me to take her dress shopping for Ryan and Clare's wedding.

If Mom were here...she would be amazed at how tall Charlie has grown and she'd be able to wish him a happy birthday today.

If Mom were here...somehow Mary Beth would still be our matriarch.

If Mom were here...she would be AMAZED (and beyond impressed) that her 3 oldest granddaughters are going to college out of state.

If Mom were here...she would have spent her last few days doing her favorite thing - "picking up sticks" - after Hurricane Irene.

If Mom were here...I wouldn't have to struggle to remember what her voice sounds like.

If Mom were here...she'd be so happy that Don is working for Dad.

If Mom were here....she would love that Clare and Ryan's new house is within walking distance of her and Dad's first place.

If Mom were here...she'd be spending her evenings sitting next to Dad watching Wheel Of Fortune and Jeopardy...right where she would want to be.

If Mom were here...we could see if James and Beanie look as much like mini Mom Mom's as we think they do.

If Mom were here...I wouldn't have had to write this post and that would make me so, so happy.