My Birth Mudder

Yesterday, Lily and I went to a birthday party for one of Lily's friends, Sydney. While we were at the party this is the conversation that Lily initiated:

"Mommy, when I was a teeny tiny baby in China my Birth Mudder lost me. I don't know why her couldn't find me. My Birth Father couldn't find me, too. Then, you and Daddy came to China and found me. Now, we're always going to be a family. Right?"

"You're right! We'll be a family forever!"

After that little exchange Lily went right back to happily playing...and I fought back tears. I HAVE to stop that. I never want Lily to feel like she can't talk to me about anything and everything.

We have never told Lily that her Birth Parents "lost her". We have only ever shared with Lily very age appropriate information about how we became a family through adoption.

From time to time we read children's books we have about adoption. Lily also absolutely LOVES to talk about our trip to China and her life in China. She asks us questions like, "Could I walk when I was in China?", "Did I have teeth when I was in China?", "What did I eat when I was in China?"

However, this is only the second time that Lily has asked me a direct question about her adoption/Birth Mother. Click here to read about the first question Lily asked me about her Birth Mother. I think what triggered yesterday's question is Lily's friend, Sydney, the birthday girl.

Sydney is a sweet girl we met about a year ago at an area playground. We then found out she lives just a few blocks away from us. Sydney also happens to be second generation Chinese American.

Lily finds it really confusing that Sydney wasn't born in China. She has asked me (and Sydney...and her mom) several times where Sydney was born. The fact that Sydney was born in America does not seem to compute in Lily's beautiful little brain.

Then, there's also the fact that virtually every Chinese child Lily knows, other than Sydney, is adopted. Their families look like ours. Sydney's doesn't.

As hard as it is for me to believe Lily is already asking these types of questions, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Lily is bright...VERY bright, perceptive, inquisitive and I could go on and on. I know, I know, every mother thinks their child is special...and every mother is right!