Dear Working Mom

Dear Working Mom,

I'm writing you this letter because each time this topic has come up (which it has quite a bit lately) I find myself oddly tongue-tied.

I understand that you would "never want to stay home" and how if you did you would be "BORED to death" and would "completely lose yourself". If that's how you feel, then I think you are definitely making the right choice for your family. Because as we both know, "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!"

I do have to tell you though that the "I have too much ambition to be a stay at home mom" comment recently crossed the line and stung quite a bit.

I do have ambitions. Would you like to know what they are? I want to volunteer at Lily's school and be available to spend the afternoons and the summers with her. Admittedly these goals are not great résumé builders, but I'm okay with that.

Being Lily's mom is the best "job" I've ever had. It just feels right - better than right. Really. It's my dream job...I don't want to look for another.

I know the choices we've made as a family may not work for you and your family. That doesn't make either one of us right or wrong. We're both just doing what we think is best for our families. Right?

I've gotta be honest - I have NO idea how you do what you do. Seriously. I have one child and don't work and somehow I still run out of milk, return library books late, and fall behind on laundry. I can't imagine how crazy my life would be...and how messy my house would be...if I worked 40 hours a week!! Again, I have no idea how you do it all!

Speaking of working, please don't presume that Tony and I fight because "I don't work". We don't. Don't get me wrong - Tony and I argue...you can bet on that...it just has nothing to do with me not working!!!

Tony and I had many long talks before we became parents and we agreed that, for us, me staying home was the right choice. We've had the same conversation several times since we've become a family of 3 and still feel me being home is the right choice for our family. Yes, it has meant we've had to make some sacrifices - but we're okay with that.

By the way, I do know that Lily is in school now. A fact I am actually painfully aware of! Oddly enough, Lily being in school doesn't make me want to run out and find a job. I'm sure someday I'll return to the paid workforce - just not anytime soon.

Speaking of me being at home, as you know I'm happy to help you out with your kids from time to time. I'm a big believer in that whole "it takes a village" thing. That being said, providing free child care for your children never factored into my decision to stay home...so, please don't take advantage of a good thing!

I'm sorry that last statement came out so snarky. It's just something that has been eating at me a bit.

Speaking of things that have been eating at me, can we make a deal? As long as I don't call and interrupt you at work to tell you what I'm watching on Oprah or ask you to borrow money to cover our bills can we stop having this whole stay at home mom vs. working mom conversation? Please. I don't think either of us benefit from it. Besides, I know there are so many more interesting things we can find to talk about.

Thanks,

Me