This is the question Lily asked me the other morning as she was helping me make her bed.
These type of questions always come out of the blue. No warning. No preamble. Just...WHAM!
Hopefully without missing a beat I answered, "Yes, honey, that's what it would mean."
To which Lily replied, "Then I'm glad she's not my Forever Mother."
A huge part of me wanted to say, "So am I!" But...somehow...that just seemed disrespectful to Lily's First Mother.
Instead I said, "I'm so glad I am your Forever Mother and that you're my Forever Daughter."
Lily followed up this emotional moment with, "Can we have bagels for breakfast??"
I just can't begin to tell you how much I love this child and how thankful I am to be her mother.
When I think of all I could have missed...
4 comments:
TJ, some day that little girl will look at all these pictures in her "baby book" and realize what she would have missed if you and Tony had not gone to China and given her a family. She is so blessed!
Aunt Paula
Thanks, Aunt Paula! We are so, so blessed!!
Once more, TJ, you handled this issue beautifully. I particularly appreciate the respect you show Lily's birth mother. So many folks just don't get that we adoptive moms are deeply grateful to the birth mothers who put their children's welfare above their own desires and place their precious little ones with another family. I think it is particularly important to show our children that we respect their birth parents. Someday our children may have questions about why they were placed for adoption but that is their birth mother's story to tell and I believe it shows respect for that birth mother when we don't try to explain things to our child on her behalf. You are such a naturally good parent, TJ. Must run in our family. ;-) Cousin Eileen
Thanks, Eileen!
I think of Lily's birth parents and foster parents often. I hope somehow they know that Lily is loved, and happy, and safe. If only they could see what a joy she is to everyone that loves her!
I send periodic updates about Lily to the orphanage that was responsible for overseeing Lily's wonderful care.
I send lots of pictures and a letter. I also try and send some things for the other children still there.
The area around Lily's orphanage is pretty rural. I can't help but think that someone knows who Lily's birth parents are.
My prayer is that news from the updates I send to the orphanage makes its way not only to Lily's foster parents, but to Lily's birth parents.
Again, thanks for the encouragement!
TJ
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